Encouraging Your Toddler to Take Risks
Building Resilience for Potty Training and Beyond
“The more risks you allow your children to take, the better they learn to take care of themselves.”
- Roald Dahl
Risk-taking is an essential part of childhood. It helps children learn to cope with challenges, develop problem-solving skills and build confidence. According to child development experts, children who are encouraged to take risks within safe boundaries tend to develop better emotional regulation and coping skills, meaning they are more resilient and adaptable as they grow. As adults, we know how vital these skills are for handling life's inevitable ups and downs.
While it might seem like a simple task, potty training actually involves a significant amount of risk-taking from a toddler's perspective. It presents a variety of new and potentially intimidating tasks for toddlers, each with its own set of risks. Understanding these risks helps us appreciate the significant courage and effort required from our little ones during this crucial developmental phase.
Trusting Bodily Signals: One of the first risks involves recognising and trusting their body's signals. For a toddler, understanding when they need to use the bathroom requires a new level of body awareness. They must learn to identify the sensations of needing to go and differentiate these from other bodily sensations. This process can be confusing and requires them to trust their instincts, which is a significant step in their self-awareness journey.
Leaving the Comfort of Nappies: Transitioning from nappies to underwear can be daunting. Nappies provide a sense of security and familiarity; giving them up means stepping into the unknown. Toddlers must learn to cope with the feeling of being without the constant protection of a nappy which initially can lead to discomfort and insecurity.
Using the Potty: Sitting on the potty itself is a new experience that can be challenging, both physically and emotionally. For some children, the potty may seem strange or even intimidating. They need to feel secure sitting on it; this may involve overcoming fears of falling in or feeling unstable. Additionally, using a potty outside the familiar bathroom environment, such as a public restroom, can add an extra layer of intimidation.
Timing and Control: Potty training requires toddlers to develop a sense of timing and control. They must learn to hold their bladder or bowel movements until they reach the potty which is a difficult exercise in impulse control and patience. This task is fraught with potential for accidents which can be embarrassing or discouraging, making it a considerable risk for them to take.
Communication: Another critical risk is communicating their needs. Toddlers must learn to tell their caregivers when they need to go; this involves both self-awareness and the ability to articulate their needs clearly. This step is crucial for their independence but can be daunting as they rely on others' responsiveness and understanding.
Independence: The overarching risk of independence is a significant step. Potty training is one of the first major milestones where toddlers take control of their own bodies and actions. This independence can be empowering but also intimidating as they navigate this new aspect of self-reliance.
The good news is that you can prepare your little one for all this long before you actually begin potty training. By encouraging your toddler to take risks – within a supportive and controlled environment – you can begin to instil a growth mindset and resilience and make them more willing to put themself in a new, potentially scary, situation.
Here are examples of small-scale risks that you can encourage your child to take:
1. Helping with Simple Tasks:
To build their sense of competence, involve your toddler in simple household chores, such as setting the table or watering plants, handling implements and tools with care.
2. Climbing at the Playground:
Allow your toddler to climb age-appropriate structures at the playground. Stay close by to ensure their safety but resist the urge to help them immediately. This builds their physical confidence and problem-solving skills.
3. Expressing Feelings:
Encourage your child to express their emotions and validate their feelings. Use phrases like, “It’s okay to feel sad,” or, “You can tell me when you’re upset.” This helps them develop emotional resilience.
4. Exploring Nature:
Take your child on nature walks and let them explore under your supervision. Allow them to touch different textures, like grass and leaves, and climb small hills or rocks.
5. Interacting with Peers:
Encourage your child to play with other children, even if they are shy. Facilitate but do not force interactions, and praise their social efforts.
6. Trying New Foods:
Encourage your toddler to try a new food, even if they seem hesitant. Use phrases like, “It’s okay if you don’t like it but let’s give it a try!” This teaches them that it’s okay to try new things.
The skills you are helping your child develop by taking these risks are essential for potty training. In fact, by fostering a growth mindset and embracing risk-taking, not only are you paving the way for a more positive and empowering potty training experience but you are setting the stage for enjoying a lifetime of learning, development and success.
Want to Take This Further?
If you’re interested in more personalised potty training guidance, consider booking a one-to-one video consultation. We can work together to create a tailored potty training plan that meets your child’s unique needs. Schedule your consultation today and take the first step towards collaborative and empowering potty training.
Reference
Sandseter, E. B. H., & Kennair, L. E. O., “Children's Risky Play from an Evolutionary Perspective: The Anti-Phobic Effects of Thrilling Experiences,” Journal of Developmental & Behavioral Pediatrics, 2011, 32(1), 66-72.
